I've been praying a whole lot since Sunday. More than usual. Unlike my prayers as a teenager "please make me pretty" or "Lord, if you grant me X I will stop lying to my parents." I have evolved and matured into a pretty wonderful young lady. My prayers now a day are for guidance, understanding and acceptance for the things that make no sense to me but are his will. My soul is at ease today.
Though my future at times seems uncertain, I am at peace.
Here's a recap of my week thus far.
Sunday, I injured my ankle during a soccer game. Scared out of my mind, I get carried off the field like a cavewoman...Over my S.O.'s shoulder. If I wasn't in so much pain I would have laughed. I think I may have through the tears. Something happened in between that time and the time I got home....Fight/Argument. Let's fast forward through that. I'm working on me right now.
Monday, tension at home. My dog still loves me, thank God for pets unconditional love. I had to make a tough decision and drop a class. I hate dropping courses but worse I hate failing at anything. I'm retaking the course in the summer. I need to get through this class. Microbiology, you may be the death of me...or not.
Tuesday, woke up feeling a little bit better. Prayer helps!
Side note: Funny how I spent so many years angry with God. Wondering why did you take their lives and not mine? It took me a while to understand that surviving wasn't my punishment but a gift to live my life to the fullest. Everything happens for a reason.
Back to today. It rained while I was on campus. Of course I didn't have my umbrella. I still felt good. Almost as if something inside of me knows it is going to be OK. I noticed my attitude or reaction to my "situation" at home has a positive impact on it all. I really can't let this consume this. I can only be me.
I felt like writing something random today, though I have many thoughts. Just to share that I do feel better today and thanks to those of you that have had kind words for me, wonderful emails and text messages. I'm going to review and study right now, since I dropped one class I need to ace the other one that I'm still registered for. The labs are going to be a piece of cake (thus far). Regardless I hope you guys find yourselves in a happy place today and if not think of one and get there quick. Life is too short to be upset. Funny coming from me right? What can I say, you live, you learn.
3 comments:
amen to the extra praying since Sunday! :P
i was so frustrated today. and even more that i completely lost my cool when i've been feeling the way that you feel today for awhile now. i've actually been at peace. it's sad that it took just one thing to go wrong & then every other little thing that's been bugging me makes me snap & it alllll falls down.
your blog hit home. all i have to do is take a step back and say a prayer and my attitude can improve ten fold. and with a better attitude, there's a better me.
last night, i tried to pray. had some difficulty. today in my frustration i didnt pray either. i still have yet to pray about it. i feel intimated because there's so much i need to pray about. but i'll do it.
thanks for your post. you reminded me to keep my eye on the prize, too & pray. we gotta keep our trust in God's plans for us :-)
Absolutely! I know it's hard to do certain things and feel certain ways specially when we don't understand "Why is this happening to me?"
It's just life and we need to learn to deal with it. Get knocked down? Pick yourself back up. We are both strong women and we will be ok!
I'm glad you had a better day that day. I started to think damn, you can't put yourself through this no more. I know how it is though, just keep your head up and if it gets too rough... well you know what to do.
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